Themes in ‘Of Mice and Men’ – The Loss of the American Dream

loss of dream

America has always been known as a ‘land of hope and opportunity’, where the likes of Dellboy and Rodney go to become mill-yan-airs. The early migrants to America went to achieve a better and happier life than the hardships they were escaping, and this mentality and faith that hard work will be rewarded with success has been passed from generation to generation. In its infancy, America was a land of rich material resources and copious amounts of space, and its society was not confined to the rigid class system of Britain. As the founding fathers had expressed, it was a land of equality, and possible for anyone to get rich as long as they were willing to work hard for it.

However, as many American novelists have portrayed in the past, in reality there is no society where only a handful of people become rich. In a depressed 1930’s California, the majority of people were poor and had very few opportunities to succeed economically. Nevertheless, the belief that the opportunities existed still created expectations and disappointments. Throughout the novel, Steinbeck cleverly shows the juxtaposition between the ideal of ‘the American dream’ and the reality of widespread poverty, loss and deprivation.

All the main characters in Of Mice and Men acknowledge, at one point or another, to envisaging a different and better life. Before her death, Curley’s wife confesses her desire to be in the ‘pitchers’. Crooks, ‘proud and aloof’ as he is, allows himself the idyllic fantasy of working on Lennie’s farm one day, and Candy latches on desperately to George’s vision of living ‘off the fatta the lan’. However, Steinbeck’s pessimistic view of the harsh reality of 1930s America is alluded to before story begins: circumstances have robbed most of the characters of these dreams before they could become reality. Curley’s wife, for instance, has resigned herself to an unfulfilling marriage. What makes all of these dreams typically American is that the dreamers wish for untarnished happiness, for the freedom to follow their own desires. George and Lennie’s dream of owning a farm, which would enable them to sustain themselves, and, most important, offer them protection from an inhospitable world, represents a prototypically American ideal. Their journey, which awakens George to the impossibility of this dream, sadly proves that the bitter Crooks is right: such paradises of freedom, contentment, and safety are not to be found in this world. (BBC Bitesize)

Key Quotations and Analysis:

Quote One:

George: ‘”O.K. Someday—we’re gonna get the jack together and we’re gonna have a little house and a couple of acres an’ a cow and some pigs and—”

“An’ live off the fatta the lan’,” Lennie shouted. “An’ have rabbits. Go on, George! Tell about what we’re gonna have in the garden and about the rabbits in the cages and about the rain in the winter and the stove, and how thick the cream is on the milk like you can hardly cut it. Tell about that George.”

“Why’n’t you do it yourself? You know all of it.”

“No…you tell it. It ain’t the same if I tell it. Go on…George. How I get to tend the rabbits.”’ (P. 32)

The particular version of the ‘American Dream’ that sustains George and Lennie’s hope for a better life is the dream of buying and farming their own small piece of land and being independent. If they can achieve this, they will have to answer to no one and free from the monotony of moving from ranch to ranch. The biggest attraction for Lennie is that they will be able to have rabbit and he will be able to look after them. George, in response to Lennie’s constant nagging, describes how they will have ‘a little house and a couple of acres’ and be free to enjoy the unrestricted lifestyle attributed to being your own boss. As Lennie famously quotes, they will ‘live off the fatta the lan’.

Steinbeck’s use of sensory language here is interesting, especially the gustatory imagery (linked to food) when describing the ‘cream on the milk’. This reflects how poor the two drifters are as they are looking forward to days when they no longer have to eat a tin of beans to get by. Furthermore, the fact that George declares that Lennie knows ‘all of it’, show the reader that the description of their dream is recounted regularly, showing how much of a source of comfort it is to them.

Quote Two:

Crooks: ‘seen hundreds of men come by on the road an’ on the ranches, with their bindles on their back an’ that same damn thing in their heads . . . every damn one of ’em’s got a little piece of land in his head. An’ never a God damn one of ’em ever gets it. Just like heaven. Ever’body wants a little piece of lan’. I read plenty of books out here. Nobody never gets to heaven, and nobody gets no land.’ (P. 81)

On the other hand, Crooks puts the dream into the context of harsh reality. He explains that he has seen hundreds of men with the same dream, and that it never comes true for any of them. The comparison between ‘heaven’ and ‘land’ is startling to the reader, as it suggests that God has abandoned ‘every damn one of ‘em’ and all hope is lost. Furthermore, the constant repetition of the ‘damn’ and ‘never’ shows how bitter and angry he is at the prospect of his dream of being accepted in society ever coming true. However, the repetition also suggest how hopeless the main characters are and how they are no different to the ‘hundreds of men’ Crooks has seen before.

Quote Three:

George: “Sure,” said George. “All kin’s a vegetables in the garden, and if we want a little whisky we can sell a few eggs or something, or some milk. We’d jus’ live there. We’d belong there. There wouldn’t be no more runnin’ round the country and gettin’ fed by a Jap cook. No, sir, we’d have our own place where we belonged and not sleep in no bunk house.”

They fell into a silence. They looked at one another, amazed. This thing they had never really believed in was coming true. (P. 66)

The men’s optimism is epitomised in this short section in chapter three. George is convinced that Candy’s financial contribution will allow them to achieve the dream of owning their smallholding. Furthermore, the fact that George states that they would ‘belong there’ highlights the nomadic migrant lifestyle they currently live. The use of sensory language once again suggests the importance of the dream, they ‘fell into silence’ creates a dramatic pause for the reader, allowing them to reflect on how dreams can become reality.

Quote Four:

Curleys’ wife: “I tell you I ain’t used to livin’ like this. I coulda made somethin’ of myself.” She said darkly, “Maybe I will yet.” And then her words tumbled out in a passion of communication, as though she hurried before her listener could be taken away. “I lived right in Salinas,” she said. “Come there when I was a kid. Well, a show come through, an’ I met one of the actors. He says I could go with that show. But my ol’ lady wouldn’ let me. She says because I was on’y fifteen. But the guy says I coulda. If I’d went, I wouldn’t be livin’ like this, you bet.” (P. 124)

Steinbeck presents Curley’s wife in a myriad of different ways throughout the text. We need to ask ourselves a variety of different questions regarding Steinbeck’s intentions. Overall, we should consider how Steinbeck wants us to perceive her. We can begin by exploring how the author first introduces the character of Curley’s wife via the perspective of other characters. For example, before we meet her, Candy tells George that he has seen her ‘give Slim the eye’ and that she’s ‘ tart’ (p. 49-50)

Her physical appearance reinforces the negative imagery created by Candy. Furthermore, her first appearance in the bunk house blocks out the light: ‘the rectangle of sunshine in the doorway was cut off. A girl was standing there looking in’ (p. 53). She is dressed all in red and is ‘heavily made up’, connoting a range of different emotions: danger, passion, seduction and love.

However, in section five the reader is finally introduced to the ‘real’ Curley’s wife. She is lonely, isolated by the rest of the men and unhappily married to Curley, who ‘aint a nice fella’. We can infer that she rarely has the opportunity to speak to other ranch workers by the fact the ‘her words tumbled out in a passion of communication, as though she hurried before the listener could be taken away’. This evokes a feeling of pity in the reader, as all she wants to in life is someone to confide in. Furthermore, her innocence, and perhaps naivety is shown when she believe that her ‘ol’ lady’ stole the letters from the actor away from her. Finally, Curley’s wife’s heart-breaking reality is summarised in the quote “I coulda made somethin’ of myself.” She said darkly, “Maybe I will yet.” One could argue that she never could have achieved her dream due to the social and cultural constrictions on her life due to her gender. Nevertheless, the ominous and foreshadowing adverb ‘darkly’ affects the reader greatly as we see how fragile and condemned she is.

Of Mice and Men – AQA Literature Past Papers

Of Mice and Men: with Notes (Longman literature: Steinbeck)

 

Please find below all Of Mice and Men questions from the AQA Literature exam from the past few years. As you can see, the question provides you with a short extract from the novel, and asks you to read the passage before answering part A and part B.

  • Part A asks you to closely analyse the methods and techniques used by Steinbeck to create a particular atmosphere, describe an important setting, convey a particular theme or present an interesting character. It is imperative that you think carefully about why Steinbeck has chosen specific words and images, and the effect this creates in the reader. For this question, really ZOOM IN on the connotations of language and feelings presented.
  • Part B will ask you to link the extract to the social, historical and cultural context of the novel – 1930s America. You will have to ZOOM OUT on the extract to examine how it demonstrates what life was like for those living in this particular time period, and how this is also presented in the rest of the novel.

You should spend no more than 45 minutes answering this question. There is no set rule, but I personally recommend that you focus on part A for 25 minutes, leaving 20 minutes for part B and proofreading your work.

The question is marked out of 30, with four marks being awarded for accurate and sophisticated spelling, punctuation and grammar. Therefore, please ensure that you edit your work in the final few minutes of the exam, correcting simple mistakes.

Finally, feel free to attempt any of the following questions and add your response in the comments section. I will happily mark all answers and provide you with critical feedback.

Enjoy!

Sir

Higher Tier Of Mice and Men – Jan 2011

candy

Read the passage and then answer part (a) and part (b).

 

The old man was reassured. He had drawn a derogatory statement from George. He felt safe now, and he spoke more confidently. ‘Wait’ll you see Curley’s wife.’

George cut the cards again and put out a solitaire lay, slowly and deliberately.

‘Purty?’ he asked casually.

‘Yeah. Purty … but ––’

George studied his cards. ‘But what?’

‘Well – she got the eye.’

‘Yeah? Married two weeks and got the eye? Maybe that’s why Curley’s pants is full of ants.’

‘I seen her give Slim the eye. Slim’s a jerkline skinner. Hell of a nice fella. Slim don’t need to wear no high-heeled boots on a grain team. I seen her give Slim the eye. Curley never seen it. An’ I seen her give Carlson the eye.’

George pretended a lack of interest. ‘Looks like we was gonna have fun.’

The swamper stood up from his box. ‘Know what I think?’ George did not answer.

‘Well, I think Curley’s married … a tart.’

‘He ain’t the first,’ said George. ‘There’s plenty done that.’

The old man moved toward the door, and his ancient dog lifted his head and peered about, and then got painfully to his feet to follow. ‘I gotta be settin’ out the wash basins for the guys. The teams’ll be in before long. You guys gonna buck barley?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You won’t tell Curley nothing I said?’

‘Hell no.’

‘Well, you look her over, mister. You see if she ain’t a tart.’ He stepped out the door into the brilliant sunshine.

 

Part (a)

(a) What methods does Steinbeck use in this passage to present Candy?

 and then Part (b)

(b) How do you think Steinbeck uses the character of Candy in the novel as a whole to

convey important ideas about society at that time? (30 marks)

 

 

Higher Tier Of Mice and Men – Jun 2011

G and L

Read the passage and then answer part (a) and part (b)

 

‘I don’t want no fights,’ said Lennie. He got up from his bunk and sat down at the table, across from George. Almost automatically George shuffled the cards and laid out his solitaire hand. He used a deliberate, thoughtful, slowness.

Lennie reached for a face card and studied it, then turned it upside down and studied it. ‘Both ends the same,’ he said, ‘George, why is it both end’s the same?’

‘I don’t know,’ said George. ‘That’s jus’ the way they make ’em. What was Slim doin’ in the barn when you seen him?’

‘Slim?’

‘Sure. You seen him in the barn, an’ he tol’ you not to pet the pups so much.’

‘Oh yeah. He had a can a’ tar an’ a paint brush. I don’t know what for.’

‘You sure that girl didn’t come in like she come in here today?’

‘No. She never come.’

George sighed. ‘You give me a good whore house every time,’ he said. ‘A guy can go in an’ get drunk and get ever’thing outta his system all at once, an’ no messes. And he knows how much it’s gonna set him back. These here jail baits is just set on the trigger of the hoosegow.’

Lennie followed his words admiringly, and moved his lips a little to keep up. George continued, ‘You remember Andy Cushman, Lennie? Went to grammar school?’

‘The one that his old lady used to make hot cakes for the kids?’ Lennie asked.

‘Yeah. That’s the one. You can remember anything if there’s anything to eat in it.’

George looked carefully at the solitaire hand. He put an ace up on his scoring rack and piled a two, three and four of diamonds on it. ‘Andy’s in San Quentin right now on account of a tart,’ said George.

Lennie drummed on the table with his fingers. ‘George?’

‘Huh?’’

‘George, how long’s it gonna be till we get that little place an’ live on the fatta the

lan’ – an’ rabbits?’

 

Part (a)

(a) How do the details in this passage add to your understanding of George and his

relationship with Lennie?

 and then Part (b)

(b) How does Steinbeck use their relationship in the novel as a whole to convey ideas

about America in the 1930s? (30 marks)

 

 

Higher Tier Of Mice and Men – Jan 2012

bunkhouse

Read the following passage and then answer part (a) and part (b).

 

The bunk house was a long, rectangular building. Inside, the walls were whitewashed and the floor unpainted. In three walls there were small, square windows, and in the fourth, a solid door with a wooden latch. Against the walls were eight bunks, five of them made up with blankets and the other three showing their burlap ticking. Over each bunk there was nailed an apple box with the opening forward so that it made two shelves for the personal belongings of the occupant of the bunk. And these shelves were loaded with little articles, soap and talcum powder, razors and those Western magazines ranch men love to read and scoff at and secretly believe. And there were medicines on the shelves, and little vials, combs; and from nails on the box sides, a few neckties. Near one wall there was a black cast-iron stove, its stove-pipe going

straight up through the ceiling. In the middle of the room stood a big square table littered with playing cards, and around it were grouped boxes for the players to sit on.

At about ten o’clock in the morning the sun threw a bright dust-laden bar through one of the side windows, and in and out of the beam flies shot like rushing stars.

The wooden latch raised. The door opened and a tall, stoop-shouldered old man came in. He was dressed in blue jeans and he carried a big push-broom in his left hand. Behind him came George, and behind George, Lennie.

‘The boss was expectin’ you last night,’ the old man said. ‘He was sore as hell when you wasn’t here to go out this morning.’ He pointed with his right arm, and out of the sleeve came a round stick-like wrist, but no hand. ‘You can have them two beds there,’ he said, indicating two bunks near the stove.

George stepped over and threw his blankets down on the burlap sack of straw that was a mattress. He looked into the box shelf and then picked a small yellow can from it. ‘Say. What the hell’s this?’

‘I don’t know,’ said the old man.

‘Says “positively kills lice, roaches, and other scourges”. What the hell kind of bed you giving us, anyways. We don’t want no pants rabbits.’

 

Part (a)

How does Steinbeck use details in this passage to present the bunkhouse and its

inhabitants?

 

and then Part (b)

In the rest of the novel, how does Steinbeck present the lives of ranch workers at that

time? (30 marks)

 

 

Higher Tier Of Mice and Men – Jun 2012

curleys wife

Read the following passage and then answer part (a) and part (b).

 

Both men glanced up, for the rectangle of sunshine in the doorway was cut off. A girl was standing there looking in. She had full, rouged lips and wide-spaced eyes, heavily made up. Her fingernails were red. Her hair hung in little rolled clusters, like sausages. She wore a cotton house dress and red mules, on the insteps of which were little bouquets of red ostrich feathers. ‘I’m lookin’ for Curley,’ she said. Her voice had a nasal, brittle quality.

George looked away from her and then back. ‘He was in here a minute ago, but he

went.’

‘Oh!’ She put her hands behind her back and leaned against the door frame so that her body was thrown forward. ‘You’re the new fellas that just come, ain’t ya?’

‘Yeah.’

Lennie’s eyes moved down over her body, and though she did not seem to be looking at Lennie she bridled a little. She looked at her fingernails. ‘Sometimes Curley’s in here,’ she explained.

George said brusquely, ‘Well he ain’t now.’

‘If he ain’t, I guess I better look some place else,’ she said playfully.

Lennie watched her, fascinated. George said, ‘If I see him, I’ll pass the word you was looking for him.’

She smiled archly and twitched her body. ‘Nobody can’t blame a person for lookin’,’ she said. There were footsteps behind her, going by. She turned her head. ‘Hi, Slim,’ she said.

Slim’s voice came through the door, ‘Hi, good-lookin’.’

‘I’m tryin’ to fi nd Curley, Slim.’

‘Well, you ain’t tryin’ very hard. I seen him goin’ in your house.’

She was suddenly apprehensive. ‘Bye, boys,’ she called into the bunk house, and she hurried away.

George looked around at Lennie. ‘Jesus, what a tramp,’ he said. ‘So that’s what Curley picks for a wife.’

 

Part (a)

In this passage, what methods does Steinbeck use to present Curley’s wife and the

attitudes of others to her? Refer closely to the passage in your answer.

and then Part (b)

How does Steinbeck present attitudes to women in the society in which the novel is set?

(30 marks)

 

 

Higher Tier Of Mice and Men – Jan 2013

crooks

Read the following passage and then answer Part (a) and Part (b).

Crooks possessed several pairs of shoes, a pair of rubber boots, a big alarm clock and a single-barreled shotgun. And he had books, too; a tattered dictionary and a mauled copy of the California civil code for 1905. There were battered magazines and a few dirty books on a special shelf over his bunk. A pair of large gold-rimmed spectacles hung from a nail on the wall above his bed.

This room was swept and fairly neat, for Crooks was a proud, aloof man. He kept his distance and demanded that other people kept theirs. His body was bent over to the left by his crooked spine, and his eyes lay deep in his head, and because of their depth seemed to glitter with intensity. His lean face was lined with deep black wrinkles, and he had thin, pain-tightened lips which were lighter than his face.

It was Saturday night. Through the open door that led into the barn came the sound of moving horses, of feet stirring, of teeth champing on hay, of the rattle of halter chains. In the stable buck’s room a small electric globe threw a meager yellow light.

Crooks sat on his bunk. His shirt was out of his jeans in back. In one hand he held a bottle of liniment, and with the other he rubbed his spine. Now and then he poured a few drops of the liniment into his pink-palmed hand and reached up under his shirt to rub again. He flexed his muscles against his back and shivered.

Noiselessly Lennie appeared in the open doorway and stood there looking in, his big shoulders nearly fi lling the opening. For a moment Crooks did not see him, but on raising his eyes he stiffened and a scowl came on his face. His hand came out from under his shirt.

Lennie smiled helplessly in an attempt to make friends.

Crooks said sharply, ‘You got no right to come in my room. This here’s my room. Nobody got any right in here but me.’

 

Part (a)

In this passage, how does Steinbeck present Crooks? Refer closely to the passage in

your answer.

 

and then Part (b)

In the rest of the novel how does Steinbeck use Crooks to present attitudes to black

people at the time the novel is set? (30 marks)

SPaG: (4 marks) 

 

Higher Tier Of Mice and Men – June 2013

slim

Read the following passage and then answer Part (a) and Part (b).

 

A tall man stood in the doorway. He held a crushed Stetson hat under his arm while he combed his long, black, damp hair straight back. Like the others he wore blue jeans and a short denim jacket. When he had finished combing his hair he moved into the room, and he moved with a majesty only achieved by royalty and master craftsmen. He was a jerkline skinner, the prince of the ranch, capable of driving ten, sixteen, even twenty mules with a single line to the leaders. He was capable of killing a fly on the wheeler’s butt with a bull whip without touching the mule. There was a gravity in his manner and a quiet so profound that all talk stopped when he spoke.

His authority was so great that his word was taken on any subject, be it politics or love. This was Slim, the jerkline skinner. His hatchet face was ageless. He might have been thirty-five or fifty. His ear heard more than was said to him, and his slow speech had overtones not of thought, but of understanding beyond thought. His hands, large and lean, were as delicate in their action as those of a temple dancer. He smoothed out his crushed hat, creased it in the middle and put it on. He looked kindly at the two in the bunk house. ‘It’s brighter’n a bitch outside,’ he said gently.

‘Can’t hardly see nothing in here. You the new guys?’

‘Just come,’ said George.

‘Gonna buck barley?’

‘That’s what the boss says.’

Slim sat down on a box across the table from George. He studied the solitaire hand that was upside down to him. ‘Hope you get on my team,’ he said. His voice was very gentle. ‘I gotta pair of punks on my team that don’t know a barley bag from a blue ball. You guys ever bucked any barley?’

 

Part (a)

In this passage, how does Steinbeck present Slim? Refer closely to the passage in your

and then Part (b)

In the rest of the novel, how does Steinbeck show that some people on the ranch are

considered more important than others? How does this reflect the society in which the

novel is set?(30 marks)

Themes in ‘Of Mice and Men’ – Loneliness

Image

Of Mice and Men is rife with lonely characters, all looking for friendship and a better existence. However, it is interesting to note that no one is really alone: people live and work in close proximity to one another and have different forms of relationships. The theme is introduced early in the novel, when George states to Lennie that ‘Guys like us, who work on the ranches, are the loneliest guys in the world. They got no family. They don’t belong no place.’ (P31-32) The use of the superlative ‘loneliest’ suggests that the migrant drifters are outcaste from society, hoping that one day they will find their place in the world. However, George goes on to state that he and Lennie are different from other ranch workers as they have each other. Therefore, Steinbeck is creating a world where isolation and loneliness is everywhere, yet friendship is an escape from it.

The friendship formed between George and Lennie is the only true relationship presented in the novel. Characters such as Crooks and Candy are too different from the other ranchers to be viewed as friends; Curley is just too unpleasant and mean; the Boss and Slim may have buddies, but we never meet them as a reader; and Carlson is just a bit of a dick (who really shoots a guy’s dog?) One could suggest that this is Steinbeck’s clever tactic not to overload the short novel with a plethora of unnecessary and forgettable characters (such as Whit – Who? Indeed), but it also helps to emphasise the loneliness of most characters, when compared to the friendship George and Lennie have.

Steinbeck litters his narrative with characters on the ranch who are lonely: rootless souls with no family connection or friends; but the three loneliest people in the novel are those who have no chance of escaping in the future:

Candy

Image

Candy is old. He has one hand, the other lost in a farming accident. His best friend is a dog, which Carlson takes out and shoots. As a swamper who cleans the living quarters of the ranch, he is denied the normal, masculine camaraderie of the heavy duty bucking of barley. He apparently has no family he feels he can go and live with in his old age.

Candy’s loneliness is reflected in his eagerness to gossip to newcomers George and Lennie when they arrive on the ranch, and is ready and willing to embrace and fund the dream George shares with Lennie. He enjoys George’s fantasy that he can ‘hoe in the garden even after [he] ain’t no good at it.’ (P88) but has a clear understanding that he will no longer be needed on the ranch soon. Steinbeck uses the metaphor of Candy’s dog to show that time is rapidly running out for him and that the boss will ‘can’ him just as soon as his use becomes unwelcome. Candy laments, ‘You seen what they done to my dog tonight? They say he wasn’t no good to himself nor nobody else. When they can me here I wisht somebody’d shoot me. But they won’t do nothing like that. I won’t have no place to go’. (P. 88) This evokes a feeling of pity and sadness in the reader, as Candy would rather end his suffering than continue his lonely and isolated existence. However, this feeling changes ever-so-slightly when his loneliness is matched by his bitter disappointment and anger when he finds Curley’s wife dead, and realises that now the dream will never come true. However, if one considers the cultural context of the time, as well as how tough and solitary his life is, we could perhaps forgive his lack of sympathy over the death of a ‘tart’ he believes has shattered his future.

Crooks

Image

Just like many characters in the novel, Steinbeck introduces Crooks from the perspective of other people before we meet him properly in section four. Characteristically, he is ‘aloof’ in his room, where he spends the majority of his time. Crooks is even lonelier than old Candy, due to him being a black, crippled man. He is entirely excluded from the bunk house, except for one occasion mentioned by Candy, when Smitty ‘took after him’ and ‘woulda killed the nigger’ if he was able to use his feet in the fight. (P. 41) In this brief introduction by Candy to George and Lennie, although repeatedly defined as a ‘nigger’, he is also classified as a ‘nice fella, too’, with ‘books in his room’, suggesting that this is one way Crooks stave off the loneliness he suffers as a result of his colour and ‘crooked back where a horse kicked him’ (P41).

Crooks is the only black character in the novel and is proud of the fact that he is not a ‘southern negro’ (P. 102), a reference to him having no recent family history of slavery. Nevertheless, if he was living in the southern states of Mississippi or Alabama, at least he would have much more of a black community around him. Here in Solidad, California, he does not suffer the obvious hatred and aggression of the South but he is very segregated and lonely. His one social outlet is playing horseshoes with the other workers, a game he seems to win a little respect for due to his prowess.

Crooks is a proud man, and it is this pride which makes him reject what he cannot have: Lennie’s friendship and a chance to share their dream of owning their own land. Therefore, when Lennie tries to befriend him at the beginning of section four, Crooks first tries to expel Lennie from his harness room, stating ‘You got no right to come in my room. This here’s my room. Nobody got any right in here but me’ (P. 99-101). Steinbeck’s repetition of the word ‘right’, highlights the fact that Crooks has very few civil rights on the ranch. Furthermore, he seems envious of Lennie’s close relationship with George, enough to torment the defenceless Lennie by suggesting that George has abandoned him forever and thus he will be left alone. Realising that he can state whatever he wishes to Lennie without anyone finding out, he confesses to him, ‘S’pose you couldn’t go in the bunk house and play rummy ‘cause you was black. How’d you like that? S’pose you had to sit out here an’ read books. Sure you could pay horseshoes till it got dark, but then you got to read books. Books ain’t no good. A guy needs somebody – to be near him’ (P. 105). This symbolises the shear isolation and seclusion suffered by Crooks, forcing the reader to empathise with his jealousy over Lennie and George’s friendship. The short pause created by the en dash after ‘needs somebody’ implies that Crooks realises he will always be lonesome, desperate for the need for human company.

Curley’s wife

Image

The loneliness endured by Curley’s wife is different again from that of either Candy or Crooks, and perhaps the most pitiful for a modern reader. She is the only woman on the ranch; therefore she can only turn to her new husband or to other men on the ranch for company, but Curley is jealous and suspicious if other men give her any attention. Curley appears to objectify her, viewing her as one of his possessions. One could argue that it his own self-consciousness which leads him to believe she will be unfaithful. Furthermore, Curley’s aggressive nature means that most of the men will avoid his wife, for fear of losing their jobs. In addition to this, the men see her interest in their company as improper and call her ‘a tart’ and ‘a tramp’ (p. 50). As she states herself, ‘If I catch one guy, and he’s alone, I get along fine with him. But just let two of the guys get together an’ you won’t talk. Jus’ nothing but mad… You’re all scared of each other, that’s what’ (P. 110). It’s interesting to note that she just focuses on talking and nothing else, stressing how lonely she is in the company of her mean-minded and boring husband.

When she confides in Lennie, she again voices her dislike of Curley: ‘I don’t like Curley. He ain’t a nice fella’ (P. 125). The emphasis on like is one of the reasons modern readers feel most pity for her in the novel: some women of the 1930s were expected to marry someone they did not love, yet she is newly wedded to a man she does not even like. Furthermore, Curley’s ‘glove fulla Vaseline’ that ‘he’s keeping soft for his wife’ could represent the constant beatings she receives when he is mad.

Finally, her name also symbolises her loneliness and isolation from society. The fact that she remains nameless evokes a feeling of sorrow in the reader, as this represents the complete lack of power, freedom and identity she has in the novel.

TASK

Answer any of the following questions in the comments section below. In your response, try to include quotations, zoom in on the language used by Steinbeck, analyse the effect this creates in the reader, and try to link your ideas to the historical, social and cultural context of the novel.

  1. In your opinion, which character do you consider to be the most lonely? Think of at least three reasons for your answer.
  2. Who is especially lonely because of being ‘proud and aloof’? How does his character represent segregation in the 1930s?
  3. Do you think Curley’s wife’s deserved to be isolated, and even killed, for her relationships with other men?
  4. How is old age represented in the novel and how do the other characters feel about this?
  5. Why does Crooks victimise and bully Lennie in section four?

Any questions, please do not hesitate to ask.

Best wishes,

Sir

Glossary of Poetic and Literary Terminology

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One simple way to impress the examiner in your literature exams is to demonstrate your understanding of poetic and literary techniques and analyse their different effects. Not only does this titillate the examiner into thinking you are an absolute genius, it is an easy way to extend your comparative analyses. For example, focusing on why two poems are both written in free verse leads you to explore what this implies about the different characters in each poem.

There are different categories of techniques, explored in detail below. Furthermore, there is a very simple and pleasant task to complete at the end.

How the Words Sound:

Words or portions of words can be clustered or juxtaposed to achieve specific kinds of effects when we hear them. The sounds that result can strike us as clever and pleasing, even soothing. Others we dislike and strive to avoid. These various deliberate arrangements of words have been identified.

Alliteration: Repeated consonant sounds at the beginning of words placed near each other, usually on the same or adjacent lines. A somewhat looser definition is that it is the use of the same consonant in any part of adjacent words.

  • Example from Clown Punk: every pixel of that man’s skin is shot through with indelible ink
  • Example from Medusa: My bride’s breath soured, stank

Assonance: Repeated vowel sounds in words placed near each other, usually on the same or adjacent lines.

  • Example from Horse Whisperer: when their horses snorted
  • Example from Clown Punk: three times out of ten you’ll see the town clown

Consonance: Repeated consonant sounds at the ending of words placed near each other, usually on the same or adjacent lines.

  • Example from Singh Song: vee share in di chapatti, vee share in di chutney, after vee hav mad luv like vee rowing through Putney

Onomatopoeia: Words that sound like their meanings

  • Example from Medusa: my thoughts hissed and spat on my scalp

Repetition: The purposeful re-use of words and phrases for an effect. Sometimes, especially with longer phrases that contain a different key word each time, this is called parallelism.

  • Example from Checking Out Me History: Dem tell me, Dem Tell me, Wha dem want to tell me
  • Example from Brendon Gallacher: Oh my Brendon, my Brendon Gallacher

Rhyme: This is the one device most commonly associated techniques used in poetry. Words that have different beginning sounds but whose endings sound alike, including the final vowel sound and everything following it, are said to rhyme.

  • Example from The River God: So I brought her down here to be my beautiful dear

Rhythm: Rhythm is all about vocal patterns. Such patterns are sometimes referred to as meter. Meter is the organization of voice patterns, in terms of both the arrangement of stresses and their frequency of repetition per line of verse. Poetry is organized by the division of each line into “feet,” metric units which each consist of a particular arrangement of strong and weak stresses. The most common metric unit is the iambic, in which an unstressed syllable is followed by a stressed one (as in the words reverse and compose).

A simple guide to meter can be found here: http://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/meter.html

You don’t need to need to analyse the different section of stressed and unstressed feet, as this would just stress you out. However, knowing the rhythm could add to your analysis:

  • Example from Clown Punk : The poem consists of a single stanza of 24 lines. Every line is written in pentameters (they have ten syllables each) which could suggest that the speaker will never change his opinion, much like the meter of the poem.

 

What the Words Mean:

Most words convey several meanings or shades of meaning at the same time. It is the poet’s job to find words which, when used in relation to other words in the poem, will carry the precise intention of thought. Often, some of the more significant words may carry several layers or “depths” of meaning at once and if you can analyse these different layers, you will achieve very high marks.

Allusion: A brief reference to some person, historical event, work of art, or Biblical or mythological situation or character.

  • Example from Medusa: And here you come, with a shield for a heart and a sword for a tongue  (an allusion to Perseus, the killer of the mythological Gorgon, Medusa)

Ambiguity: A word or phrase that can mean more than one thing, even in its context. Poets often search out such words to add richness to their work. Often, one meaning seems quite readily apparent, but other, deeper meanings await those who contemplate the poem.

  • Example from Give: It’s not as if I’m holding out for frankincense or myrrh, just change

Apostrophe: In a dramatic monologue, this is when the speaker is speaking directly to a real or imagined listener or inanimate object; addressing that person or thing by name.

  • Example from My Last Duchess: Will’t plase you sit and look at her?

Connotation: The emotional, psychological or social overtones of a word; its implications and associations apart from its literal meaning.

  • Example from Les Grands Seigneurs: a bit of fluff = sexual plaything

Contrast: Closely arranged things with strikingly different characteristics.

  • Example from Les Grands Seigneurs: The best and worst of times were men

Denotation: The dictionary definition of a word; its literal meaning apart from any associations or connotations.

Hyperbole: An outrageous exaggeration used for effect.

  • Example from Clown Punk: every pixel of that man’s skin is shot through with inedible ink

Irony: A contradictory statement or situation to reveal a reality different from what appears to be true.

  • Example from Give: You give me tea. That’s big of you.

Metaphor: A direct comparison between two unlike things, stating that one is the other or does the action of the other.

  • Example from Les Grands Seigneurs: Men were my dolphins, my performing seals

Oxymoron: A combination of two words that appear to contradict each other.

  • Example from On a Portrait of a Deaf Man: his tie discreetly loud

Personification: Attributing human characteristics to an inanimate object, animal, or abstract idea.

  • Example from The River God: I may be smelly and I may be old – The poet uses the technique of personification to show the qualities of a river

Simile: A direct comparison of two unlike things using “like” or “as.”

  • Example from Horse Whisperer: So I could lead the horses, like helpless children, to safety

Symbol: An ordinary object, event, animal, or person to which we have attached extraordinary meaning and significance:

  • Example from Casehistory: Alison (Head Injury): (She looks at her photograph)

 

The Structure of Words:

Words follow each other in a sequence determined by the poet. In order to discuss the arrangements that result, certain terms have been applied to various aspects of that arrangement process. Although in some ways these sequences seem arbitrary and mechanical, in another sense they help to determine the nature of the poem. These various ways of organizing words have been identified.

Point of View: The author’s point of view concentrates on the vantage point of the speaker, or “teller” of the poem. This may be considered the poem’s “voice” — the pervasive presence behind the overall work. This is also sometimes referred to as the persona.

Line: The line is fundamental to the perception of poetry, marking an important visual distinction from prose. Poetry is arranged into a series of units that do not necessarily correspond to sentences, but rather to a series of metrical feet. Generally, the line is printed as one single line on the page. If it occupies more than one line, its remainder is usually indented to indicate that it is a continuation.

There is a natural tendency when reading poetry to pause at the end of a line, but the careful reader will follow the punctuation to find where natural pauses should occur.

Stanza: A division of a poem created by arranging the lines into a unit, often repeated in the same pattern of meter and rhyme throughout the poem; a unit of poetic lines (a “paragraph” within the poem). The stanzas within a poem are separated by blank lines

Stanza Forms: The names given to describe the number of lines in a stanzaic unit, such as: couplet (2), tercet (3), quatrain (4), quintet (5), sestet (6), septet (7), and octave (8).

Rhetorical Question: A question solely for effect, which does not require an answer. By the implication the answer is obvious; it is a means of achieving an emphasis stronger than a direct statement.

  • Example from The Ruined Maid: O didn’t you know I’d been ruined?
  • Example from Medusa: Wasn’t I beautiful? Wasn’t I fragrant and young?

Rhyme Scheme: The pattern established by the arrangement of rhymes in a stanza or poem, generally described by using letters of the alphabet to denote the recurrence of rhyming lines, such as the ababbcc of the Rhyme Royal stanza form.

Enjambment: The continuation of a line of poetry.

  • Example from Ozymandias: Round the decay / Of that colossal wreck
  • Example from Les Grands Seigneurs: But after I was wedded, bedded, I became / (yes overnight) a toy, a plaything, little woman

Caesura: The pause in the middle of a line of poetry.

  • Example from Give: I’m on my knees. I beg of you.
  • Example from My Last Duchess: I gave commands; / Then all smiles stopped together. There she stands,

Volta: the turn in thought in a poem that is often indicated by such initial words as But, Yet, or And yet.

  • Example from Les Grands Seigneurs: But after I was wedded, bedded,

Form: The arrangement or method used to convey the content, such as free verse, ballad, haiku, etc. In other words, the “way-it-is-said.”

Examples of different forms:

  • Free Verse: lines with no prescribed pattern or structure — the poet determines all the variables as seems appropriate for each poem: Give, Medusa, Checking Out Me History, Horse Whisperer, The River God
  • Ballad: a narrative poem written as a series of quatrains in which lines of iambic tetrameter alternate with iambic trimeter with frequent use of repetition and often including a refrain: On a Portrait of a Deaf Man
  • Elegy: a poem in memory of someone who is deceased: On a Portrait of a Deaf Man and Brendon Gallacher
  • Sonnet: a fourteen line poem in iambic pentameter with a prescribed rhyme scheme; its subject was traditionally love: The Clown Punk

 

The Image of Words:

A poet uses words more consciously than any other writer. Although poetry often deals with deep human emotions or philosophical thought, people generally don’t respond very strongly to abstract words, even the words describing such emotions and thoughts. The poet, then, must embed within his work those words which do carry strong visual and sensory impact, words which are fresh and spontaneous but vividly descriptive. He must carefully pick and choose words that are just right. It is better to show the reader than to merely tell him.

Imagery: The use of vivid language to generate ideas and/or evoke mental images, not only of the visual sense, but of sensation and emotion as well. While most commonly used in reference to figurative language, imagery can apply to any component of a poem that evoke sensory experience and emotional response, and also applies to the concrete things so brought to mind.

  • Example from On a Portrait of a Deaf Man:

But now his mouth is wide to let

The London clay come in.

…maggots in his eyes

…now his finger-bones

Stick through his finger-ends.

 

Sensory Language: The poet’s careful description of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. Related images are often clustered or scattered throughout a work, thus serving to create a particular mood or tone.

  • Visual: the deflated face and shrunken scalp (Clown Punk)
  • Auditory: my thoughts hissed and spat on my scalp (Medusa)
  • Tactile (touch): For silver swallow swords, eat fire (Give)
  • Gustatory (taste): He like old City dining rooms, potatoes in their skin (Portrait of Deaf Man)
  • Ofactory (smell): I may be smelly and I may be old (River God)

 

TASK:

Now that you have revised all the key poetic and literary terms, try to find at least two example of the same technique. This will be extremely helpful when comparing the poem in your exam. Focus on the different effects the same technique evokes in the reader. Think about whether they are similar or different, and whether they add to the overall attitude or tone of the poem. Post you comments below for others to see!

Finally, if you happen to know of any additional terms, please feel free to add them to the list.

Should you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to ask.

Mr Morris

Themes in the Character and Voice Poems

Apart from to add to your exam stress, each poem in the ‘Character and Voice’ section of your AQA Anthology has been carefully selected by some horribly dull fellow/lady because it conveys a particular theme. The ‘characters’ are depicted by the poets in a variety of ways, sometimes reflecting their own perspective and other times creating a persona by writing in the style and tone of a particular character (for example, Browning didn’t really knock-off his previous wife). Sometimes, the poem depicts the viewpoint of one person; other times we read about individual characters, either imaginary or real, named or unnamed, and asked by the poet to reflect upon how we feel about this particular persona and how we treat each other in everyday society.

As you should know, the exam question will ask you to compare one named poem with another of your choice; therefore, it is imperative you know the key themes that relate to the collection and similarities in the poets’ use of language, imagery and structure. Furthermore, it is your own personal interpretation and response to a poem’s character that is important. Always try to think about the effect on the reader and the poet’s intentions; this will allow you to write deep, perceptive answers to the question and achieve high marks. Finally, it is important to remember that some poems belong to more than one of the following categories:

Isolation and Alienation

isolation

This theme is absolutely ruddy everywhere in the English Literature exam: Of Mice and Men, To Kill and Mockingbird, The Woman in Black and the majority of the poetry. Alienation means the rejection or enstrangement from society; the state of being an outsider; of feeling isolated. This can refer to both physical separation, emotional detachment, or often a combination of the two.

The ‘Clown Punk’ and ‘Give’, both by Simon Armitage, feature characters rejected and scorned by society for being different to the norm. One is alienated from others for looking ‘like a basket of washing that got up and walked’ and for living in the ‘shonky side of town’, the other is forced onto ‘the streets’ to beg for ‘change’. The ‘town clown’ is depicted as a bogeyman type character by the speaker, describing his unsociable habit of pushing his face on to car windscreens.  However, the father in the car talking to his ‘kids on the back seat who wince and scream’ is also seen as an angry and judgemental character, forcing the reader to feel somewhat sorry for the persecuted ‘clown’. In a similar way, Dylan Thomas’ ‘solitary mister’ in ‘A Hunchback in the Park’ is cruelly treated by school children in a local Welsh park, and reduced to life of misery, fear and loneliness.

In a different form of alienation, ‘Medusa’ begs her unfaithful husband to acknowledge her beautiful and ‘fragrant’ youth before jealousy fuels her desire for revenge and isolates her in a ‘foul-mouthed’ Gorgon state. Furthermore, the imagery of her turning natural objects to stone (‘house brick’, ‘pebble’) due to her ‘bullet eyes’ means that she is physically isolated from society and defined as an outcast. This metaphor is paradoxical, since tears are commonly seen as weak, but bullets are violent. Alternatively, ‘Melia in Hardy’s ‘The Ruined Maid’, wryly accepts social estrangement when choosing prostitution as a preferable occupation to the hardship of a moral, yet poverty-stricken life.

Finally, the ‘poor, clever girl, Alison, is the unfortunate victim of a head injury that has defined her future and has mentally alienated her from her former self. This is similar to the ‘horse whisperer’; another victim of events beyond their control when, ‘scorned as demon and witch’, he is forced to flee his ‘tender giants’ due to the arrival of the technological revolution and farmers growing increasingly suspicious of his ‘legacy of whispers’.

Key Poems:

  • The ruined maid by Thomas Hardy
  • The river god by Stevie Smith
  • The hunchback in the park by Dylan Thomas
  • The Clown Punk by Simon Armitage
  • Give by Simon Armitage
  • Horse Whisperer by Andrew Forster

History and Heritage

who am i

Some characters from the collection are remembered from a poet’s own recent past, others are from specific historical events. In John Agard’s ‘Checking Out My History’, the poet protests that the history he has been taught has kept him ignorant of the brave and resilient freedom-fighters whose struggles changed the course of Black history, thus denying him a sense of understanding and appreciation of his own identity. However, ‘Ozymandias’, an ancient Egyptian, egotistical ruler, desired immortality by building many statues and monuments of himself to symbolise his wealth, influence and power; yet Shelley reflects how the character is powerless against the changing nature of time, with the sculptor’s ‘sneer of cold command’ being the only thing that remains of his legacy. Furthermore, Browning’s Duke of Ferrara, another powerful tyrant, is so utterly obsessed with material worth and protecting his ‘nine-hundred-year-old name’ that he totally neglects and fails to appreciate the true beauty of his young, good-natured wife.

Key Poems:

  • Checking out me history by John Agard
  • Singh Song! by Daljit Nagra
  • Ozymadias by Percy Bysshe Shelley
  • My Last Duchess by Robert Browning

Different Relationships: Love and Loss

love and loss

An interesting comparison can be made between Kay’s description of her speaker’s childhood reliance on her exciting imaginary friend, ‘Brendon Gallacher’, and the ‘best and worst of times’ outlined in Molloy’s ‘Les grandes seigneurs’. Both poets recognise how times have changed and that parts of their characters will be lost forever: the death of Brendon when the truth was exposed by the mother left the image of her friend ‘flat out on [her] bedroom floor’ and after Molloy’s speaker was ‘wedded, bedded’ all power and respect was lost forever. Disregarded by her husband, she is no longer treated to romantic gestures but instead reduced to ‘a bit of fluff’.

Conversely, the narrator in ‘Singh Song’ is delighted with his amorous and glamorous ‘newly bride’, and their relationship is still in the early stages of excitement and passion. This love results in the neglect of his father’s shop and the subject of harsh comments by his customers. The couple spend all night cuddling up behind the counter, staring at the beaches of England and sharing compliments. His nonconformist wife offers a form of escapism for the speaker as he takes pride in her ‘effing at [his] mum in all di colours of Punjabi’. The Duke views his nonconformist wife in a slightly different way: her ‘heart… too soon made glad’ increased his jealousy and envy, resulting in her eventual demise. Her constant ‘smile’ to other men brought shame upon his aristocratic family name and thus the Duke ‘gave commands’ for ‘all smiles’ to stop.

However, the theme of loss is arguably best depicted in Betjamin’s beautifully sombre description of a son’s love for his dead father. This unusual elegy in the ballad form, details the father’s likes and dislikes in a deeply affectionate way, yet juxtaposes these positive images with macabre, horror-filled descriptions of his imagined bodily decay. The poem perfectly captures all the contrasting feelings towards death: grief, sadness, fondness, anger and love. This culminates at the end of the poem when Betjamin questions his religious belief, and becomes obsessed with the finality of death. His heartfelt depiction of his ‘kind’ deaf father shows his definite affection towards him, but this is shadowed with by his own fear of death and its gruesome certainty. His contradicting imagery throughout the poem is startling and evocative, forcing the reader to reflect upon their own thoughts on love and loss and how they feel such a range of emotions during these events. The sensory and grotesque language creates a feeling of overwhelming grief in the reader, and this description can also be linked to the sudden death of Brendon Gallacher, as Molloy uses repetition of the possessive pronoun ‘My’, emphasising the idea that Brendan belongs to the narrator and portraying the theme of loss and longing for something that is gone. When the name Brendon appears without the surname or the “my” in the last line, as just “Oh Brendon”, the impact is much greater: losing the refrain highlights the loss of her imaginary friend.

Key Poems:

  • My Last Duchess by Robert Browning
  • The River God by Stevie Smith
  • On a portrait of a deaf man by John Betjamin
  • Casehistory: Alison by UA Fanthorpe
  • Les grandes seigneurs by Dorothy Molloy
  • Medusa by Carol Ann Duffy

 

 

Naughty Women – By Mrs S.J. Kerridge

naughty women

 

Women have a pretty poor representation in Literature; Charlotte Bronte’s Jayne Eyre had a mad woman in the attic, Wilkie Collins’ Woman in White had a character committed to an asylum and Shakespeare made Lady Macbeth into a controlling, but ultimately weak-minded figure of pity. Character and Voice has its fair share of women who are considered unusual because they do not behave in a way that is expected of them. A few of them are allowed this freedom, but most of them are punished for it.

The first of these is Melia in The Ruined Maid. The idea of a woman being ‘ruined’ has ancient, religious and moral connotations. To be ‘ruined’ or ‘corrupt’ is a state often ascribed to fruit, just as it begins to spoil or decay and this is applied metaphorically to the state of women who are ‘corrupted’ by some kind of illicit relationship, like Eve and that apple in the Garden of Eden. It may be why evil people are described as ‘rotten to the core’. Melia has clearly sacrificed her reputation for the sake of material gain (the clothes she gets, the expensive accessories, the fine manners, the easy life) and society at that time would have held her in contempt for it. What I love about this poem is Hardy’s ironic treatment of both women. Melia’s repetition of ‘ruined’ shows an unashamed acceptance of people’s judgement of her and even a touch of elitist pride when she claims that her friend ‘cannot expect that’. Her friend’s tone has just the right degree of envy for us to see that Hardy makes her virtuous, working class life less appealing than Melia’s comfortable life of sin.

Another materialistic, naughty woman is the ‘newly bride’ in Singh Song. She is an unusual Indian bride with her rebellious choice of ‘tartan sari’ and her poor treatment of Singh’s parents, as well as antics on…well, let’s call them ‘dating’ websites; at any rate, it is hardly the behaviour of a devoted wife. What makes it worse is that during their romantic evenings together, her questions are about money – ‘how much…?’ – whereas his replies are all about how highly he values her, ‘half di cost ov yoo’. Singh’s all-consuming devotion to his wife is what makes this poem so charming and amusing, because he loves her, in spite of her faults.

If only the controlling Duke of Ferrara had been so tolerant of his wife in My Last Duchess. Some people have argued that the Duchess was a bit too free with her affections and that her ‘smiles’ are a euphemism for affairs or flirtations, which is why the Duke seems so agitated when he talks about it. I’m not convinced. He is agitated by her appreciation of the ordinary things like ‘cherries’, ‘a white mule’ or a pretty sunset and wants her to be more impressed with his ‘nine hundred years old name’. She has not behaved in a way he expects and he punishes her for it. Now, just another possession of his, she is utterly controlled by him and can only be seen when he chooses to draw back the curtain.

My last choice for the Naughty Women category is Les Grand Seigneurs. It compares well with My Last Duchess because marriage leads to being controlled by men for both of them. Although there is strong romantic, courtly imagery (‘troubadour’, ‘queens’, ‘damsels’) suggesting that the narrator enjoys playing the fairytale of love, there is also a suggestion that she makes fools of men by demanding that they perform for her, ‘prancing’ like circus animals. Of course, the phallic imagery and sexual references are hard to miss (‘towers’, ‘peacocks’, ‘pink flamingos’) and I think this makes her a bit of a tease – ‘out of reach’-, and probably why the contrast of her married life is so stark.

 

The English Literature Poetry Exam

moon tides fingers

As you should already be well aware, your English Literature GCSE exams takes place on Tuesday 20th May (Exploring Modern Texts) and Thursday 22nd May (Poetry Across Time). Please do not panic, as you will be thoroughly well prepared to succeed in this exam, due to the inspirational teaching of the English department and the countless hours of revision you have completed!

The examination for Unit 2 of the AQA English Literature: ‘Poetry Across Time’, lasts one hour and fifteen minutes and is divided into two sections. Now, considering that you have to compare two poems analytically in Section A and write a response about a poem you have never seen before, the exam is incredibly short (much like Mr Fothergill). The entire paper is marked out of a total of 54 marks, with 36 available for section A and 18 available for section B. In section A, you have to choose one question (from a choice of two) from the ‘Character and Voice’ section. In the question, one poem will be named and you have to compare this poem with any other of your choice from the same cluster of poems. Whatever you do, do not try to answer a question from the other clusters (this happens at least once every year… and they always fail). Time-management will be covered in more depth later, but you should aim to spend 45 minutes on Section A and 30 minutes on Section B (the unseen poem).

SECTION A

In the AQA Anthology of poetry, ‘Moon on the Tides’, there are several clusters of poetry. For section A, you need to begin by finding the question on your cluster of poetry, ‘Character and Voice’. There are two questions to choose from, so the first mountain to climb after remembering your candidate number (or perhaps more worryingly the spelling of your middle name), is to decide which one to answer. The next task is to plan your response to the question, thinking carefully about which poem you are going to compare to the one named. Then, take the first five minutes to consider all the similarities between the named poem and the other of your choice.

To help you choose which question you want to attempt, you should think about the following questions:

  1. How much do I know about the named poem, apart from its title?
  2. How confident am I relating the named poem to the topic or theme mentioned in the question?
  3. Can I think of a second poem which I know well that would compare strongly, linking to the topic or theme mentioned in the question?

Moreover, how can you make sure that you are comparing the right aspects of the two poems? If you write about two poems without comparing them then you are not going to gain the marks your understanding deserves and your teacher will potentially throw their shoe at you. The crucial Assessment Objective the examiners are looking for demands that you compare and contrast the different ways each poem expresses menaing and the language, imagery and structures employed by the poet to achieve this. To meet this objective, one could divide this objective into four separate parts:

  1. What do I think the poet is saying in poem A? How does this compare to what the poet is saying in poem B?
  2. Why does poet A feel like this? What is their attitude to the theme of the question? Does the poet have a purpose? what is the tone/mood of the poem? Does this change towards the end of the poem? How does this compare to poet B’s attitude, feelings and tone?
  3. How does the poet express himself/herself through the language, imagery and structure used? Compare each technique you write about in poem A with a similar or different technique used in poem B. Then focus on the different effects this creates in the reader.
  4. Finally, focus on how you feel about the two poems. Compare your personal response to each poem, expressing a preference and stating why. Explain which poem you empathise with more, which techniques made the biggest connection with you and why you think the poet wanted you to feel this way.

An outline of this plan can be found below:

Question: ‘Compare the character presented in ‘Give’ to that in one other poem in the ‘Character and Voice’ cluster.’

 

‘Give’ ‘Clown Punk’
What? Homeless man

Asks for change

Loneliness, isolation, charity

Outcaste from society

Judged by speaker

Individuality, rejection, isolation

Why? Anger – ‘that’s big’

Sadness – ‘make a scene’

Destitute – ‘on my knees’

Rejection – ‘dyed brain’

Judgment – ‘shonky side’

Anger – ‘don’t laugh’

How? Imagery of homeless is positive – ‘under the stairs’ Imagery of homeless is negative – ‘basket of washing’
Fragmented form showing life is inconsistent Sonnet form to highlight no one loves the punk
Use of imperatives to show poverty – ‘Give’ Use of imperatives to show hatred – ‘think what he’ll   look like’
How do I feel? Empathetic for speaker – ‘just change’ Anger at speaker – ‘let it rain’

We will be looking at how to use this plan to structure your response after exploring each poem in detail. Just remember, it is imperative that you compare the two poems as much as possible throughout your answer.

SECTION B

In Section B of the exam, you must answer a question on an unseen poem. This involves reading the poem and structuring your answer in 30 minutes – no pressure. The main point about Section B is that you do not have to compare the unseen poem with one from the cluster. There is only one question, therefore you do have to waste time on deliberating which one to answer. The higher tier paper will have one part of the question; the foundation tier will be in two parts, and you must answer both. Here are examples of the types of question(s) you might be asked:

Higher:

  1. ‘What do you think the poet is saying about the theme of war and how does he/she present these ideas?

Foundation: 

  1. What does this poem have to do with war?
  2. How does the poet present his/her feelings towards war?

The beauty about Section B is that we practise it every lesson. Every time your teacher presents you with a new poem you are preparing for this section – analysing an unseen poem. Furthermore, the four-part plan will help you answer this section in exactly the same way, only you don’t need to compare this poem with any other.

HOW TO REVISE

Many students think that you can’t revise for this exam. Many students who think this fail the exam, much to my amusement.

The easiest way to revise for this exam is to read, read and read the poems again and again. Furthermore, brush up on your knowledge of poetic devices, descriptive language techniques and structural techniques – especially the more complex ones such as metre/rhyme/imagery. Zoom in on specific words and images and explore the different connotations one can infer from the lexis used. Think about the different interpretations from different audiences. Finally, create your own comparison chart for each poem. Think about where the similarities and differences are between themes/language/imagery/structure/attitude of the poet.

Next, there are a variety of different websites out there to help you revise (far better than this one, of course). Here are a few I recommend: http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/english_literature/poetrycharactervoice/, http://poetrystation.org.uk/search/topics/category/aqa-gcse-voice-and-relationships/, and http://www.mrbruff.com/ – also, there are many helpful videos on YouTube (just type in ‘AQA Character and Voice’)

Finally, attempt as many past papers as you possibly can in exam conditions. Make sure you are strict with your timings and have no distractions. All past papers can be found here on the AQA website: http://www.aqa.org.uk/subjects/english/gcse/english-literature-9710/past-papers-and-mark-schemes (look under the ‘Unit 02′ tab). If you would like to receive feedback for your answers, please do not hesitate to waft it under your teacher’s nose – we really do like this!

Well that’s it for the content and summary of your exam. Watch this space over the next few weeks for different posts for each poem. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Enjoy revising!

Sir

The AQA GCSE English Language Exam – Question Six

Question Six – ’The Facts’:

The first thing that you should know about Question 6 is that it is the question on which you should spend the most time. With a massive 24 marks on offer, the exam paper itself suggests that you spend 35 minutes planning and writing the task. As it sits within Part B of the exam, we know that this question is going to assess your writing skills, specifically your ability to argue or persuade.

However, first thing’s first. As with any writing question, you need to put yourself into the mind of an author with a commission. The question here is just that; a brief for you, the author, to produce a particular piece of writing. The question, or brief, will dictate the way in which you approach this writing.

Firstly, we need to work out the GAP for the brief. In this example, I will be responding to the following question from the January 2011 exam paper:

“Your school or college is inviting entries for a writing competition. The topic is “Dangerous sports activities and pastimes are selfish, often put others at risk and should be discouraged.”

Write your entry arguing for or against this view.”

From the question, the Audience is made clear from the mention of ‘school or college’; this will be an article for your peers, other teenagers. The Purpose, based on the final sentence, is to argue for or against the topic. The Genre here is a little more ambiguous, although this is not a huge problem. Whilst the question specifies that this is a ‘writing competition’, it does not state a clear genre such as newspaper article or blog, meaning that in this case, I will not need to include any genre conventions such as headlines, hyperlinks or spaces for images.

With the GAP clear in my mind, I can now begin to make the three basic writer’s decisions. I need to work out whether this article will be:

Formal or Informal?

Personal or Impersonal?

Chronological or Non-Chronological?

As this is will be an article designed to argue, or persuade, ideally, I will need to adopt a Formal register. This will give me the authority to put forward my argument in a convincing manner, and make the reader more likely to agree with me. If I were to begin my article, “Yo, dangerous sports are well bad bruv,” then the reader would (rightly) be against me from the offset, and probably give up reading promptly.

This will be a piece of writing centred around my point of view, thus I am more likely to write from a Personal rather than impersonal perspective; after all, these are my opinions, not those of anybody else.

Finally, and most simply, this is not a story, so there is no need to write a chronological (time ordered) narrative, rather a Non-Chronological series of well-voiced opinions.

There is, of course, one more decision to be made. Am I for or against the proposition made in the question? This is largely down to your discretion, however in this case I have chosen to argue against the banning of dangerous sports, as I can see an opportunity to include irony and satire in my response (more of this later).

With these choices made, I can now move onto planning my article. A fantastic and very simple way of doing this is to simply mind-map as many ideas to back up my argument and potential counter arguments as possible.

I have come up with the following:

–          Health and safety gone made – dangerous tiddlywinks?

–          Personal choice – your decision

–          Potential risks – don’t be a coward

–          Ultimate thrill – we don’t get that with football

These are now going to form my paragraphs for the answer.

There is a lot of debate about the differences between arguing and persuading, however, I see them as largely the same. Both of these skills use the same basic language toolkit, with which frequent viewers of this marvellous blog will already be familiar; the rhetorical devices. Whilst in Question 4, we are looking for examples of these and the effect that they have on the reader, Question 6 is our chance to show off exactly how well we can use these in order to impress the examiner.

Name of   rhetorical device Definition Teacher’s   example
Rhetorical   question A question   asked for effect that does not expect or require an answer Would you   like to be abandoned by your parents?
Imperatives A form of a   verb that   expresses a command; a ‘bossy word’ Get out now   and do something about this appalling practice.
Rule of   three A list of   three things. Smoking is   antisocial, unhealthy and disgusting.
Hyperbole Over   exaggerating in   order to make a point Teachers will   tell you a million times to tuck your shirt in.
Emotive   language Words which   are designed to create an emotional response in the reader Children as   young as eight are abandoned  and forgotten by their parents.
Alliteration A group of   words which start with the same letter  or sound Smoking   seriously sucks.
Repetition Repeating a   word in order to make it stick in the   reader’s brain. Smoking is   foul, smoking makes you smell, smoking   will kill you.
Flattery Saying nice   things to somebody in order to make them more likely to agree with you. As an   extremely intelligent person, you must agree   with me.
Personal   pronouns Words like   “you”, “us”, “we” – designed to make the reader feel included in the writing. You are the   only one who can save us from this   horrible fate.
Facts and   statistics Things which   are true, used to convince the reader. 85% of all   parents would send their children to   private school.
Counter   argument Giving the   other side of the debate in order to   make your argument look stronger. It might be   cool to wear skinny trousers, but they are against school rules.

Obviously, the examiner doesn’t want to open a script to be faced with the right hand column of this table, so we need to use these devices effectively and with some degree of subtlety. Imagine these devices as my favourite condiment; a small smear of wholegrain mustard will really set off the flavour of a sausage sandwich, but spreading it as thickly as marmalade will keep you sneezing until Christmas.

You will have had some practice at using these devices throughout your school career as, whisper it, the writing section of this exam is undoubtedly the most logical and worthwhile part. Just remember not to have every sentence ending in a tricolon, or every new paragraph beginning with a rhetorical question and you will be fine.

For top band answers, the exam board like to see flair and originality, specifying in the mark scheme that a great shortcut to this is through the use of satire and irony. Put simply, verbal irony is (no, Alanis, just stop) the art of saying one thing whilst subtly implying the other. This differs to sarcasm, in that it is largely used to flatter the reader rather than insult them, relying on their ability to differentiate between what you are saying and what you actually mean. See if you can spot my use of irony in the exemplar.

Handy Hints for Answering Question 6

  • Work out the GAP by underlining the key words in the question, and decide, as above, how that will influence your writing. Obviously, a blog for teenagers is going to be very different from an article for a national newspaper.
  • If you don’t know anything about the topic you are asked to write about, don’t panic: just make it up. There are no marks allocated for telling the truth in Section B, and 73% of all students make up statistics in their responses. Like that one.
  • Failing to plan is planning to fail. It’s a horrid phrase, but sketching out a quick paragraph by paragraph plan will help you to keep on track in your writing and ensure that you maintain a structure in your response.
  • Spelling, punctuation and grammar are marked in this question, but don’t let that stifle your creativity. Examiners are more likely to reward a valiant attempt at a sophisticated word, misspelt, than a simple and banal substitution.
  • Try to begin your writing with a drop paragraph. I have included an example of this below, but basically, it means beginning your writing in an abstract and interesting way, leaving the reader unsure of the focus of the piece and eager to read on to find out.
  • Link each paragraph to the previous one using discourse markers. These are handy linking words, such as: However, Also, On the other hand, Additionally, etc. This will give your writing a sense of fluidity, and stop it from looking like a bunch of disparate paragraphs jammed together at random.
  • Be creative. An examiner will mark hundreds of scripts in a sitting, so you need to try and make yours stand out. If you have an idea that you think is a little on the odd side, use it, as it will grab the reader/examiner’s attention and as you are rewarded for creativity, persuade them to give you better marks.
  • Don’t just let your answer fizzle out. If you find you’re running out of time, conclude your answer with a snappy parting blow. Relating this to the introduction is also a great way to show the examiner that you have considered the structure of your piece.

Question 6 Exemplar:

Your school or college is inviting entries for a writing competition. The topic is “Dangerous sports activities and pastimes are selfish, often put others at risk and should be discouraged.”

Write your entry arguing for or against this view.

Outside the hall, the St John’s Ambulance staff wait anxiously, alert and ready for the inevitable call from inside. At the table, the competitors face each other in a tense silence. Gazing through the bars of their American football style helmets, they eye each other cautiously. A referee blows a whistle, and the game is afoot. Gloved hands, clad in the latest bulletproof fabric, move swiftly down to the apparatus below. The crowd step back, anxiously. At the last match between these two titans of the sport, fourteen spectators were hospitalised, with one left permanently blinded in one eye as the result of a stray shot. This time, though, all will be well, with the athletes encased by a clear plexiglass dome to prevent any similar accidents. And then, almost as quickly as the game started, it’s all over. A single plastic counter ricochets into a small pot. The crowd roars.

A new World Tiddlywinks Champion has been crowned.

Thankfully, this is fiction. But it is only a small step away from reality. More and more often, the sports which have been keeping the youth of this fair nation energised, healthy and victorious for decades have been categorised as ‘dangerous’ and a risk to our health and safety.

You’ll break your arm playing rugby, they say.

You’ll scrape your knee skateboarding, they whine.

You might break a fingernail playing tiddlywinks, they (probably) smirk.

You’re in danger of having fun, they cackle from their health and safety Kremlin.

It’s a disgusting state of affairs. ‘Dangerous’ sports are what makes this nation great, and it is precisely this attitude that makes them even more appealing. Teenagers have always enjoyed doing things that others disapprove of, almost as much as they like making their own decisions. So if I want to break my arm playing rugby, or dislocate my collarbone on a skateboard, why shouldn’t I? I might be off school for a couple of days or perhaps, the unthinkable, be unable to write during my exciting English exam. It might mean that my parents have to take me to hospital or (worst case scenario) pour soup down a tube to feed me, but it’s a small price for them to pay in order to have a son who is as daring, adventurous and downright awesome as I am.

And it’s exactly this risk of danger that makes dangerous and extreme sports so enticing.

Think about all of your heroes. How many of them would you classify as cowards? Exactly. Life is short, so if I’m not allowed to mangle myself on a muddy pitch, have my block knocked off in a mixed martial arts hexagon or jump out of an aeroplane with only a flimsy and incredibly well designed and thoroughly tested piece of fabric to save me, I should be applauded. The people who are complaining about these dangerous sports are currently sat at home, writing their eight thousandth letter to David Cameron in order to outlaw fun, whilst I, the future, am… Sat a desk taking an exam. But later on, I’m going abseiling. Off an 8,000m high cliff. Without a harness.

Of course, abseiling and base jumping make fairly poor spectator sports. But has any footballer ever experienced the adrenaline rush of the ground rushing up to meet you, intent on breaking every bone in your body, including a few that you didn’t even know existed? No. But they have experienced the drunken chanting of thousands of adoring fans, several million pounds a year in their bank accounts and a beautiful wife. Is this fair? No. But I would gladly trade any amount of money, any beautiful woman or legion of screaming followers to experience the pure rush of indulging in one of my favourite pastimes.

So, health and safety gremlins, leave my sports alone. Or else before you know it, we’ll all be playing tiddlywinks wearing mittens.

Review of this exemplar:

  • How many marks do you think this would achieve based on the criteria below?
  • How many of the ‘handy hints’ have they included?
  • How could they improve?

Success Criteria for A*:

Communication

  • writes in a way which shows clarity of thought and communicates in a convincing / compelling way
  • engages the reader with detailed, succinct argument, a range and variety of persuasive ideas, abstract concepts, vivid detail, e.g. makes a moral appeal, invokes finer feelings
  • makes and sustains the purpose, intention and objective of the writing, e.g. by specifying outcomes, considering implications
  • writes in a formal way employing a tone which is appropriately serious but also manipulative and subtle, uses e.g. assertion, reason, sophistication
  • uses linguistic devices such as the rhetorical question, hyperbole, irony, satire in an effective and appropriate way
  • shows control of extensive vocabulary with appropriately used discursive markers e.g. ‘ Surely it is reasonable to expect….’, ‘Taking the global view…’, ‘One alternative position might be..’ etc.

Organisation of Ideas

  • writes a whole text in continuous prose
  • employs paragraphs effectively to enhance meaning including, e.g. one sentence paragraphs
  • uses a variety of structural features, e.g. different paragraph lengths, indented sections, dialogue, bullet points, as appropriate
  • presents complex ideas in a coherent way

Written Accuracy

  • uses complex grammatical structures and punctuation with success
  • organises writing using sentence demarcation accurately
  • employs a variety of sentence forms to good effect including short sentences
  • shows accuracy in the spelling of words from an ambitious vocabulary
  • uses standard English consistently

Feel free to attempt this same question and post it in the ‘comments’ section below.

Any questions, don’t hesitate to ask!

Mr Fothergill

The AQA GCSE English Language Exam – Question Five

Describe. Inform. Explain.

Question Five – ’The Facts’:

Hooray! Congratulations on getting through the analytic reading section of the exam and welcome to the creative questions.

Question Five is the first question of Section B, the writing section of the exam, requiring you to write a long answer either describing, informing or explaining – or a combination of two of these writing purposes. You are recommended to spend around 25 minutes on question 5 and can achieve a maximum of 16 marks. It is really important to note that 6 marks are awarded for accurate spelling, punctuation and grammar, so you are not only assessed on your creativity but the quality of your written expression.

Remember that this is a non-fiction exam; although you can make up the information, it still needs to be believable and authoritative. No writing about wizards or battle royale, unfortunately.

This question will ask you to write in a specific genre, for a specific audience and a particular purpose.

For example,

A website (genre) called The Best and the Worst is asking for contributions.

Write an entry for it which describes (purpose) the best meal you ever had and the worst. Explain (purpose) the reasons for your choices. (As the Audience has not been specified, write for a wide-ranging audience, blending a mixture of formal and informal language to suit a variety of ages and social backgrounds)

Writing for Different Purposes:

Writing to describe: paint a picture for the reader

  • Use plenty of well-chosen, descriptive vocabulary – ambitious adjectives, verbs and adverbs.
  • Deliberately include simile, onomatopoeia, metaphor, personification (SOMP)
  • Use sensory language by describing what you can see, smell, taste, hear and feel
  • Use a variety of short and long sentences for effect
  • Use ambitious punctuation

Example: On the wall behind the counter were row upon row of sweetie jars, their lids so round and wide the assistant would barely get her hand around them. There were sweets of vermilion and rose, saffron and lemon, and twists of amber and green. Pear shapes, lozenges and elegant little comfits, wine gums with ‘port’ and ‘brandy’ embossed upon them, and black and white humbugs as shiny as a marble floor. Some shone emerald and deepest ruby like the precious gems, others pale and delicate in old-lady shades of violet and lavender. Fairy drops and barley sugars, chocolate toffees and midget gems, fruit jellies, glacier fruits and sugared almonds, all imprisoned in glass jars so large it took two hands to upend their contents into the weighing scales. Dazzled and confused, I would ask for the little chocolate buttons covered with gritty multi-coloured sugar dots called rainbow drops, or perhaps some Parkinson’s fruit thins, which were rather like glacier fruits but with sharper, more distinct flavours.

Writing to explain:

  • Use clear, simple, factual sentences;
  • Use technical language (if appropriate)
  • Gives reasons for your point.

Example: What made the sweets so special was the way the beautiful colours transferred onto your tongue and lasted on your taste buds for hours.

Writing to inform:

  • Should be FACTUAL
  • Written in the PRESENT TENSE
  • Use SHORT, CLEAR, SENTENCES
  • May use TECHNICAL TERMS
  • Addresses the reader as YOU
  • It is clear, unbiased and informative.

The table below shows which genres and purposes have come up so far on the exam papers

HIGHER

Date Purpose Genre of text
Jan 2011 ‘Tell’ & explain * Article for a website
Jun 2011 Describe & explain Newspaper article
Jan 2012 Inform & explain Letter to newspaper
Jun 2012 Describe & explain Blog Entry
Nov 2012 Describe & explain Letter to newspaper travel editor
Jan 2013 Describe & explain Blog entry
Jun 2013 Describe & explain Website article

Writing for Different Genres:

Letters:  Follow the correct format for a letter – if a personal letter, then your address on top-right corner and the salutation Dear [name of who you are writing to] and a formal sign-off (yours sincerely if you know their name, yours faithfully, if it’s just to Dear Sir or Madam)

Magazine or newspaper articles: Do NOT write in columns. You get NO extra marks for this. However you SHOULD aim to keep paragraphs fairly short and avoid heavy blocks of text. If writing to inform or explain, consider using bullet points to give some facts.

Blogs: These will consist of a headline and a date. They also have short, concise paragraphs and the typical structure is to present the first paragraph and then invite the reader to “Click here to read more”. You would then write the rest of your article beneath that….as if the reader had then clicked to expand the page.  You should read various blogs to get a feel for the style – well done, you’re already doing it! The writing is far more informal than newspaper or magazine articles and often written in the first person (“I”). There may be hyperlinks where the reader could click on a word or phrase to be taken to another webpage so to imitate that, you would underline certain words.

Writing for Different Audiences:

For Section B, you have to think very carefully about the audience you have been asked to write for. The first thing to consider is: how formal does my writing have to be; and what is the tone of my writing? For example, if you have asked to write to your Head Teacher, you would write with a formal and polite tone, whereas there would be room for a more relaxed tone when writing to ‘young readers’ of a school newspaper. You must always consider the type of person reading your text and how you should use language effectively to achieve your purpose.

Handy Hints for Answering Question Five:

  • Read the question carefully and understand the GAP by underlining the key words in the question.
  • Make sure you write an effective plan before starting your opening sentence. Mind-map your topic with at least 5-6 points, which can then be turned into paragraphs.
  • List all the techniques needed for the purpose of your writing: SOMP, sensory language, short sentences, etc.
  • Try to begin and end your writing in a creative way; think about including as many techniques as possible.
  • Remember to make it sound factual and believable, but make everything up if you haven’t got a Scooby-Doo about the topic of the question.
  • Make sure you proof-read your work, checking for spelling, punctuation and grammar (but don’t force you to settle for an easier word than an ambitious one)
  • A* answers need to be original and have flair. Try to be as creative and interesting as possible – make sure your work stands out.

Question Five Student Exemplar:

Write a brief article for a website of your choice telling your readers about an interesting or unusual journey or travel experience you have had. Explain why it was memorable.

Speeding down the River Dart

“The route is simple.” The man at the rental told us. “Just enjoy.”

My family and I were on holiday in Dartmouth and this was the one thing I had been looking forward to. Renting out a boat. The day was perfect. Fluffy clouds floated lazily across the bright blue sky. The sun beaming down on the deep blue sparkling river. Little ripples splashing against the side of the pier as a beauty of a sailing boat glided past. We were renting a small motor boat to go up the river and see some of the most beautiful sights in the area: the viaduct arches, the Royal Navy College and the many wildlife supposed to be found on the shores.

We were all on the boat safely and dad started up the engine. Immediately the boat roared to life as we turned then sped across the water. The cool breeze blowing our hair off our faces, the spray whipping up behind us. The refreshing smell of salt water wafted up our noses.

As we left the boat rental behind the Royal Naval College come into view. It sat majestically on a hill peeping over the tops of the luscious green trees.

“Here’s a clearing” called Dad you can see it better from here.” And you could. The Union Jack blew in the wind from the roof, there were huge black + gold gates with the wording on. The building itself was a Royal reddy-orange colour, with concrete supports. There was complete silence as we moved just past the clearing each of us staring back at it. Then just like that, it was gone. Hidden amongst a dense forest of green broccoli trees. “Wow” I whispered “It’s all so beautiful.” Again we remained silent, just the noise of the engine working gently in the background.

We come to a place full of reeds were a family of ducks were resting. I spotted something. A brown creature sat poking his whiskers at the reeds.

As quick as a flash he turned and dived beneath the surface. I mimed to everyone to be quiet as dad turned off the engine. We sat their for a few moments before … Yes! The otter popped his head up cautiously. We didn’t dare move a muscle. And then it swam swiftly, past the front of the boat before climbing out of the water shaking itself and leaping off between the trees! My mouth hung open. What great luck. The man had told us that otters were rare at this time of year, and we had seen one.

Unfortunately, it was time to head back as the town came into view again we noticed some sea cadets training in miniature wooden boats with sails. We waved at them. They waved back.

We were travelling faster now and we made it back to the port, just in time.

The trip was the most memorable experience of the holiday. The sheer beauty of the place and seeing the rare otter had left us stunned with amazement.

Review of this exemplar:

  • How many marks do you think this would achieve based on the criteria below?
  • How many of the ‘handy hints’ have they included?
  • How could they improve?

Success Criteria for A*:

Communication

  • writes in a way which shows clarity of thought and communicates in a convincing and/or compelling way
  • engages the reader with detailed and developed ideas, perhaps abstract concepts
  • makes and sustains the purpose, intention and objective of writing the article, e.g. by affecting the reader, evoking response
  • writes a formal article, the tone of which is appropriately serious but also subtle, employs e.g. reason, some sophistication
  • uses linguistic devices such as the rhetorical question, hyperbole, irony, in an effective and appropriate way
  • shows control of extensive vocabulary with appropriately used discursive markers

Organisation of Ideas

  • writes a whole text in continuous prose
  • employs paragraphs effectively to enhance meaning including, e.g. the one sentence paragraph
  • uses a variety of structural features, e.g. different paragraph lengths, indented sections, dialogue, bullet points, as appropriate
  • presents complex ideas in a coherent way

Written Accuracy

  • uses complex grammatical structures and punctuation with success
  • organises writing using sentence demarcation accurately
  • employs a variety of sentence forms to good effect including short sentences
  • shows accuracy in the spelling of words from an ambitious vocabulary
  • uses standard English consistently

Feel free to attempt this same question and post it in the ‘comments’ section below.

Any questions, don’t hesitate to ask!

Sir